儒家一直给人一种肩不能挑，手不能提，百无一用是书生的印象，以至于有人说儒家实为懦家，这种说法成立吗?
儒和懦，字形相近，都以需为字根，那么就从需字看起。
需始见于甲骨文，甲骨文的“需”本没有雨字头，字形是人身上往下滴水。这个人身上湿漉漉的，可能是淋了雨，也有可能是刚沐浴完回来，具体见下图中的1号字。
需字演变
但是到了西周，字形就变的和现在的需字一样了，上雨下而。
但字形为什么是上雨下而，下面这个而到底是何含义？
而基本意思是作名词时表示颊毛，作动词时表示能够。一般是做助词或连词。《说文解字》对其的解释是：“而，颊毛也。象毛之形。《周礼》曰：‘作其鳞之而。’”
颊毛就是胡须，而怎么会是胡须？来看看而字的演化过程：
而字演变
在甲骨文中，这个而字看起来，明显就是画了一把胡子；
到了小篆字形，一般认为依旧象胡须形。上面的“一”表示鼻端，“|”表示人中；下面分内外两层，外层像两腮的胡子，内层像生在嘴下的胡子。
那么需字下方的这个而到底在这里代表什么意思？是从“胡须”引申出“柔软的”，转义为“柔和的”含义？还是需字在甲骨文里的最早字形，身上滴着水的人？
从而字在金文中的字形，观察，明显可以看出有人的形态，并且“而”字意中也有表示对称或领有，相当于“你”、“你的”
予岂不知而作。——《诗经·大雅·桑柔》
余知而无罪也。——《左传》
子归，殁而父母之世。——《国语·吴语》
需字根据下面这个而字的不同含义，同样引申出不同的含义：
看做上雨下胡须，需同须，《易·彖传》曰：需，须也。
看做上雨下人，有专家因字面象以水冲洗沐浴濡身之形，有说是沐浴；有说是人被雨淋湿，为雨所阻；
也有人认为这是在乞雨，而《易经》六十四卦中的需卦，乾下坎上，也就是水在天之上，可不就是云雨吗？因此需也有和乞雨有关的需要、等待这样的含义。
《需卦》象征等待：具有诚实守信的品德，光明正大，做事才会亨通顺利，占问的结果是吉祥的，出外远行，渡过宽阔的河流会很顺利。 《象》曰：云上于天，需；君子以饮食宴乐。 《象辞》说：《需卦》的卦象是乾（天）下坎（水）上，为水在天上之表象。水汽聚集天上成为云层，密云満天，但还没有下雨，需要等待；君子在这个时候需要吃喝，饮酒作乐，即在等待的时候积蓄力量。
需字无论按被雨淋湿，还是乞雨来看，均有有沾湿、润泽、沁润之意，可引申为沾染，使其加以改变，让其变的柔软的意思（一般事物用水沁湿后就软了）；同时需同须，故有柔软之意。
古文字大师朱骏声《说文通训定声》：“即今所用濡沥字。”马叙伦、李镜池等学者都认为需是“濡”的本字，意为濡湿。
综上，需字最基本的含义，应该是软化，软的。看看以需为根的字：
糯 ：从米，指软糯之米；
孺 ：从子，指身体柔软的幼儿；
襦 ：从衣，指贴身穿的柔软的内衣，短衣，短袄；
嚅 ：从口，指两片嘴唇轻轻相碰，嚅嗫（说话吞吞吐吐的样子）；嚅忍（欲言而止）
蠕 ：从虫，指没有甲壳、骨头的虫子，也就是软乎乎的肉虫子；
懦 ：从心，指内心软弱；
如果照这样推理 儒 从人，就是软人了，就是软弱无能的人？儒在甲骨文中可是一个高贵的存在，怎么可能是什么软人。
甲骨文中有儒帝子、儒人、儒师、子儒的记载（见《甲骨续存》11859片，《京都甲骨》2894片，《铁云藏龟》1683片，《殷虚文字乙编》7715片）。由这些名词可见，殷商时代，儒已经是高贵的职称，往往和帝子、公子、国师联系在一起。
以致孔子对子夏说：“汝为君子儒，无为小人儒”（《论语》6、13），荀子分儒为俗儒、雅儒、大儒（见《儒效》），这表明儒群扩大了。
前面提及需为濡的初字，除了沾湿、润泽、软化之意外，还有沾染、改变之意，如濡染，耳濡目染。
儒字，从人，改变的是人，儒应该是执行教化的人，也就是最早的老师，教导人们礼仪、文化，受到教化的人们知礼后，就会变得有教养，不再鲁莽而为，也就是软化了。
但是这种软化，可不是什么肩不能挑，手不能提的软化，而是内心的另一种强化，不以力量治人，不以拳头论理，而是靠礼靠理。
只不过后来在宋、明、清几朝，不断强化下，文人才不事劳作，一心只读圣贤书，和底层社会脱离，才给人一种百无一用是书生的印象，但是这些都是没读通书的半吊子的穷酸腐儒，真正的大儒则是内心坚定，胸怀天下之辈，岂能用 懦家 二字羞辱。
儒，的本意应该是老师，是教导人们礼仪、文化，执行教化的人，所以孔子打破阶级限制，广收学徒，自然就成了大儒，孔子建立的学派又重礼仪，也就被称为儒家了，后来儒这个字，就成了孔子学派的专属名称了。
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